Are You Blocking Your Own Happiness?

By Heather White 

You're An Extraordinary Piece Of Art

I am a huge fan of self-help and self-improvement. But, we must begin at the beginning. Missing the first and most fundamental step, is the true culprit in robbing us of our happiness. The first thing we must change, before we do any self-improving, is the point of view we are looking at ourselves from. Here’s what I mean: instead of thinking you have to improve to be worthy and happy, what if your worthiness and happiness were lying dormant inside you? What if these were not things you had to go out and get? Your happiness and sense of worthiness are not rewards for your hard work, or gifts for being an especially good human. They are birth rights, unequivocally yours for the experiencing. What if your job was less about improving, and more about revealing your essence? Kind of like when Michaelangelo would go to the quarry and get a slab of marble. He explained the statue was already inside. He described his role as removing all the excess marble that was blocking the view of an extraordinary piece of art that was already in existence. What if you are already an extraordinary piece of art? What if you were to start from that premise?

Curiosity vs. Self Criticism 

When we engage in personal development from a place of curiosity versus self-criticism, the entire dance changes. Instead of self-disciplined, imposed changes that attempt to rigidly block us from bad habits, we choose life affirming, soul stirring, joy-full activities that light us up from within. Instead of a calorie restricted diet, and no food after 7pm, we choose a nutritional 7-week cooking class where we learn to buy, prepare and enjoy, delicious, healthy, life affirming meals. Instead of mandating a 30-minute sitting mediation practice because that’s perceived path to enlightenment, we stop at the beach on the way home from work every day, because those 10 minutes in nature tune our inner rhythm to a place of peace and harmony, and allow us to arrive home with an open and gentle heart.

Reveal Your True Self

The truth is no one knows the path to your happiness, except for you. People write books about the method that worked for them. Allow that to be an affirmation that happiness, joy, and fulfillment is alive and well in the human experience. But before you read one more book, take one more course, go to one more retreat, consider that you are already who you want to be—an exquisite work of art. And instead of trying to “improve” yourself, what might you do to reveal even more of your exquisite essence into the world?


Heather White works as a Coach and Speaker, navigating the route for high-performing women who want to live authentic, courageous, liberated lives.  

"Through it all, I remain fascinated by people and their potential, especially when they’ve found success but are at a loss with why life doesn’t feel like a total win. Moved to help them find what’s missing, I advocate for authenticity and listening to the voice within".

-Heather White